Saturday, 15 July 2017

Dream 852

'Ewan McGregor v Pennywise the Dancing Clown'
Date: 12 July 2017
Time: 23:30 - 05:30 (I woke up from this dream naturally)
Type of dream: Normal dream
Dream recall: Normal recall 

I can only remember one scene from this dream, which I believe may have been much longer and more complex. 

Scene 1: An Empty Warehouse - Day
I was in an empty warehouse - or at least it was a building which I assumed to be a warehouse, but in fact seemed to be partially made out of wood, like a shed only much bigger. I think it was day - there was a window in front of me - and along the walls of the warehouse, and I think it may have been sunny outside, as it was quite light inside, as if the sun was shining in the through the windows. I cannot recall anything in this warehouse, other than two chairs, in front of the window. 

At first, I thought I was sitting in one of the chairs, and was tied to the chair with a rope, holding my arms down by my sides, as if I was a kidnap victim. However, without moving, I could also 'see' the empty chair in front of me, seeming as if I was standing looking at it, while also experiencing being tied up and sitting on it. I did not see myself in third-person perspective as I often do in dreams. It was more like I was simultaneously sitting, tied up in the same chair I could see while standing in front of it.

While experiencing the sensation of standing in front of both empty chairs, I became aware that I was being held hostage and interrogated by Pennywise the Clown from Stephen King's IT (1986) - the Tim Curry version from the TV miniseries (1990). This 'explained' why the I was tied to the chair. Pennywise was standing beside me (to the left of the me standing watching, to the right of me while I was sitting, tied to the chair) cracking silly jokes and laughing a lot while he interrogated me. I cannot recall what questions he was asking me, or what jokes he was making, but I felt very scared and wary of him and did not want to provoke or annoy him in any way as I knew he wanted to kill me eventually and I wanted to stay alive for as long as possible. I felt a weird sensation - as if I was close to a wild animal which should be safely behind bars, but which had escaped and cornered me. It seemed (in my thoughts) that Pennywise shouldn't be free to pose a risk to me - as if he were a real, live dangerous creature which should be kept in an animal enclosure in a zoo. 

One thing I recall Pennywise saying was: 'You're my next consignment', which I took me to mean - 'you are in my next set of intended victims'. This made me feel pure terror. yet in the dream the standing/watching me did not try to escape - it was as if I had no autonomy, the same as the me tied to the chair. 

As I was standing, in fear of Pennywise (who other than a lot of jokes/questions and verbal threat, did not seem to be particularly quick to attack me), I noticed that the chair next to 'mine' (so to my left as I was seated int he chair, to my right as I was standing looking at my empty chair) was occupied by another person, also tied to the chair. I was overjoyed to see that it was my favourite man ever, in the world (as regular readers of my Blog and family/friends know all too well!) - Ewan McGregor! He was wearing a khaki T-shirt with a pocket on the chest, and some baggy trousers and trainers - so casually dressed. His hair was quite messy. I felt relieved and safe now Ewan was present. I knew he would resist the interrogation by Pennywise. Ewan said to me: 'It's OK now' and then began shaking his head from side-to-side very fast. This was an 'attack' on Pennywise, who was really scared by Ewan's head shaking. Ewan saved both of our lives.

I cannot recall anything else about this dream. 

Extra Information: 
None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • None of note

Dreamsigns: 

  • I was simultaneously tied to a chair as well as standing in front of the (empty) chair, staring at it, but not seeing myself
  • I was captured and being interrogated by Pennywise the Clown
  • Ewan McGregor was present
  • Ewan McGregor 'attacked' Pennywise and 'saved our lives' by shaking his head from side-to-side very fast

Day Residue: 
  • I have been listening to an audio book of Stephen King's IT
  • I had been watching a Youtube video about mining Bitcoins, which showed a large warehouse which housed the high-powered computers for Bitcoin-mining
  • I think about and look at images of Ewan McGregor every day - I am currently watching him play brothers in Fargo (2017)

Waking Reactions: 
It was awesome to have a dream which featured both Pennywise and Ewan McGregor at the same time - even more so that Ewan saved me from Pennywise! Ewan was able to turn what I was experiencing as a strange nightmare into a very positive dream.

Friday, 14 July 2017

Dream 851 (MULTIPLE TERRIFYING LUCID FALSE AWAKENINGS)

'Jumpscares and The Rake!'
Date: 11 July 2017
Time: 22:30 - 06:00 (I woke up from this dream due to an alarm)
Type of dream: Fully-Lucid False Awakenings
Dream recall: Strong recall 

Some background information - as I was laying in bed, I was watching some 'Deep Web exploration' videos on my laptop, which was - as usual - positioned on my desk chair next to my bed. Laying in bed watching my laptop screen on the chair means that I am viewing the laptop from side on. As I was laying in bed, falling asleep, I was aware that I was most likely going to experience Sleep Paralysis - and False Awakenings (click on that link for a post explaining these sleep phenomenons). I have experienced enough false awakenings to know the signs, and generally speaking, I welcome them, because they represent a chance of a full lucid dream by using the OBE-Exit technique. I find that the signs are: (a) a feeling of intense physical exhaustion; and (b) a feeling of my body floating/vibrating as I fall asleep. I therefore decided to shut off the 'deep web' videos I was watching before I fell asleep, as the content was fairly 'scary' (i.e. not the kind of content I wish to transfer into my dreams). During the experiences I describe below, I was fully lucid throughout - i.e. I was aware that I was in a dream-state. I am not sure if this made the experience more frightening than if I had 'believed' my dream state to be reality. That sounds counter-intuitive, but from my perspective, being lucid and not able to control my dream means that I feel 'stuck' and helpless/vulnerable.

False Awakening #1
I woke up in my bedroom, in the dark. I knew this was a false awakening almost immediately, although I did not have the sensation of sleep paralysis. I was facing the wall in my room (my bed is lengthways against the wall) and could feel the presence of something behind me. I was far too afraid to turn around. I could hear an electronic buzzing in the room, which seemed to be coming from the ceiling above me. I was not sure if the buzzing was caused by the presence in my room, or simply just the false awakening experience in itself. I could not wake up, although I was able to move freely. In frustration, I ended up turning round. 

My laptop was wonky - the laptop was turned at a 90 degree angle, so it looked like an open book. On the screen was a documentary about the Hampstead Satanic Abuse case, which is a case which I had been researching that day - because I had stumbled across the 'conspiracy theories' and videos made of the children's' allegations in one of the 'scariest videos on Youtube' list videos, leading me to find a High Court judgment (which coincidentally happened to be useful for my PhD thesis, which is on the privacy and welfare of children). I knew from my research while awake that there was no documentary that I had been able to find (I am keen to only examine legitimate sources of information about this case, given the conspiracy theory-driven entries online perpetuate the intrusion into these vulnerable children's' privacy and overlook the fact that these allegations came about because they were tortured into making them by their mother's boyfriend). The fact I could 'see' a documentary on this case, playing on my sideways laptop bemused me, and temporarily distracted me from the (still unseen) presence in my room. I cannot say what was happening in the documentary, as what I was watching and listening to seemed scrambled and at a low volume. It was just a collection of images I associated with the videos I had seen posted online with verbal material which confirmed what I was seeing - mainly the two siblings involved talking to an adult, while being filmed on a mobile phone. I must have fallen back asleep properly while looking at my laptop screen.

False Awakening #2
I woke up again, in another false awakening, which frustrated me further. This time I turned to my laptop immediately (I woke up facing the wall again, although this is the side I face while sleeping as I naturally feel most comfortable laying on my left side). The screen showed a 'jumpscare' video which I recognised from having been tricked into watching it, many years ago. I hate jumpscare videos and try to avoid them. This particular video shows a car driving down a pretty country road - then features a classic jumpscare. I have posted the actual Youtube video below if you want to watch it. I was really annoyed that this jumpscare video was on my laptop in a false awakening scenario, as I felt like my subconscious was trolling me by presenting me with something which would actually cause me anxiety in waking life, and something I had taken care to minimise by shutting down the scary Youtube videos I had actually been watching when I was aware I might have a false awakening. 

I turned away from the laptop before the jump scare actually happened. I then realised that I could hear piano music playing - it may have been from my laptop, as this was the direction it was coming from, but in my lucid state I decided not to turn around the check, because I thought it might lead to me seeing the jumpscare video. I fell asleep again.

False Awakening #3
I woke up again and felt trapped and helpless by the multiple false awakenings I was experiencing, although relieved that I was not experiencing sleep paralysis as well. The window (my flat is on the ground floor) is behind my head when I am laying in bed, less than a metre away. If I stretch my hands above my head while laying down, I can touch the wall behind me. I was aware (without turning to look) that something - I am not sure what - was entering my bedroom through the window. I knew that my window was closed. The thing seemed to be taking a long time to get into my room through the window, as I laid in my bed, terrified, unable to wake myself up, hearing it climbing in. I felt something lift the duvet (on the side I was facing away from) and touch me with something which felt like thin, cold metal. I screamed out: 'Wake up! Wake up!' hoping that this would help me to wake up, but I could not. I started screaming: 'Someone help me!' aware that my flatmate, SC would not be able to actually hear me (his bedroom is next to mine, on the other side of the wall) as this was a dream and I was not making any noise in real life. I turned to see my laptop, which was still wonky, on it's side. The image on the screen was now the opening scene of the animated show, The Ricky Gervais Show (see image, below). I knew I had not been watching this before bed on this occasion, although I have, many times in past.

I must have fallen asleep again.

False Awakening #4
This was the worst of all the false awakenings. By the time this one happened, I felt mentally exhausted and so frightened that I can safely say - from experience - that I was on the verge of a panic attack, although I have never actually experienced a panic attack within a dream state to my knowledge. I just felt unable to breath properly and like I needed to 'give up' and 'let the dream win' (i.e. continue it's course without me fighting back). However, this was made impossible by the fact that I then felt the presence in my room again - it may be the same one from the earlier false awakenings, or it may have been a completely separate one - I have no idea as I did not look at the earlier ones through fear. This time the presence was making a strange whirring noise - like machinery and I could 'feel' that it was going to attack me unless I pre-emptively fought back. 

I sat up in bed. Again, I could see that my laptop was on it's side, wonky. I kept looking at it, thinking: 'it only looks like this because I am used to seeing it in side view while I lay in bed watching it', but this level of lucidity and understanding did nothing to correct my perception. The image on the screen was still that from the The Ricky Gervais Show.

I moved to the edge of my bed, wanting to stand up. I found that the duvet instantly became wrapped around my head, preventing me from moving freely. I realised, lucidly, that this was as a result of the false awakening phenomenon, and that if I applied my mind to the situation, I could free myself. I urged myself to be able to push the duvet down from around my head. This took a lot of strength and willpower. I still could not stand up - something (a degree of sleep paralysis?) was stopping my dream body from doing as I willed it. I looked at my curtains and this is when I first saw the presence. It was human-sized and sitting on top of my curtain rail, despite the fact I knew that there was no space (there is about 10 cm between the rail and the ceiling) available in reality. The presence - or better, entity - resembled 'the Rake' (see image below) which is a humanoid creature appearing in Creepypastas and a number of 'found footage' videos and urban myths. I had watched a video allegedly showing 'the Rake' earlier that day, so I recognised it, but I still felt scared. It's eyes were a glowing silver/white colour as in the image below, but the rest of it appeared to be quite fuzzy. 

I decided that I should try and materialise a weapon to defend myself/attack the Rake. I put my hand under my pillow and imagined finding the ultimate weapon (this is often a more successful way of materialising objects in my lucid dreams rather than trying to visual something specific, which often leads to awful failures!). Under my pillow was a huge butcher's knife and I was pretty satisfied with this, although I had hoped for a gun, or some other weapon which had some range. I said to the Rake: 'Don't come near me!' and pointed the knife in it's direction. The Rake jumped down from the curtain rail, although it maintained it's crouched form - it did not move much at all. At all times it was blurry and not especially 3-dimensional - my perception seemed to constantly shift as I looked at things in my room. This seemed normal, given it was a false awakening and I was aware I was in a dream-state. The Rake was incredibly slow at approaching me, but I knew it was just waiting to attack. It continued to make the whirring, mechanical noise. I started jabbing the knife towards it, so that if it leapt for me, it would be stabbed. I could not reach it from my position halfway down the bed (it was at the pillow end of the bed, in the space between the wall/window and the top of my bed). It was taking so long to move towards me and the threat remained. Anticipating it coming for me was the worst thing about the situation, and I kept waving the knife in it's direction. 

I then decided to see if I could change the dream scene, by closing my eyes and visualising myself out of my room. I did this. I opened my eyes. I was still in the same situation.  I started shouting: 'Wake up!' over and over again, but nothing happened. I was still sitting on my bed, with a wonky laptop on the chair nearby. The Rake was at the top of my bed and a knife in my hand. I tried shaking my hands rapidly (this is a stabilisation technique in lucid dreaming, but I was desperate to change the situation, so was willing to try any technique). Nothing happened. I could not move from off my bed to walk out of the room and hopefully into a new dream scene, so I was essentially stuck as a sitting target for the Rake, with only a knife for defence, which so far had done nothing to help me. I then became worried that I might be anchoring myself into this dream by shaking my hands (given this is a stabilisation technique which helps you stay lucid), so my only option was to being a dream character into my dream in the hope they could 'save me'. I started screaming: 'Someone help me, someone help me!' I didn't care who came into my dream to help me at this point. I then heard a voice - very distant. I could see no-one. The voice seemed like it was coming from outside of my house, from far away. I kept screaming: 'Come and help me!' as loud as I could. The voice then became familiar - it was R3A. He was saying: 'I can't get into the house'. When I realised it was R3A, I began to specifically call his name, thinking that if (in the dream) he was close enough to hear/speak to me that I might be able to bring him into the room. I was screaming his name as loud as I could. He just kept saying: 'I can't get in' and sounded like he was laughing or not taking me seriously. At this point, I was stricken with terror and despair. I must have fallen asleep around this point.

Scene 1: A Beautiful House - Day
I entered a normal, non-lucid dream. I cannot recall much about this dream, only that I was in a beautiful house, which had a lovely garden. The sun was shining. I was sitting at a table, in a room which had big windows, through which I could see the garden and a semi-circular paved patio. PS, my ex-boyfriend and N the Dog were present. There were some books or papers on the table. PS was telling me that we would never ever get back together, that he did not love me at all and that he was far happier since we separated and he had moved on. I felt devastated and hurt by what he was saying, but realised that at least we were having an honest conversation and he was not lying to me about how he felt. 

I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Extra Information: 
None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • PS as a dream character

Dreamsigns: 

  • EVERYTHING was a dreamsign!

Day Residue: 
  • The incidents in the false awakenings were clearly influenced almost entirely by videos I had been watching online just before I went to sleep, and also by the fact I was conscious I might have a false awakening, so may have 'planted the seed' for what happened
  • In relation to Scene 1 - a mutual friend of PS and I (one of PS's friends from his area in London, who happened to move to my local area, although I have not met him in person since PS and I separated) had messaged me on Facebook. He sometimes does this when he is bored. Despite the fact he is someone I regarded as a friend, I do not welcome him messaging me, as not only has he got a girlfriend to my knowledge, but he sends weird pictures and tries to encourage me to send pictures of myself back - while acting paranoid, asking if I will snitch on him (to people I no longer even speak to!) for messaging me. Not only do I not need him messaging me, but his levels of paranoia that he might get caught doing something he was not invited to do is very annoying to me. Not only do I not care if he messages me and am not interested in photo-sharing with him, but him questioning if I will tell anyone about his behaviour is aggravating, as he is choosing to do something he obviously feels guilty about, without reason. On this last occasion when he messaged me, just before this dream experience, he kept asking if I would snitch on him. When I made it clear that I had no interest or reason to tell anyone he messaged me, and no longer was in contact with any of his friends anyway, he said: 'You told PS I messaged you before' to which I agreed that I had - because PS was my ex-boyfriend and therefore deserved my honesty. If anyone - especially a casual friend who I have not seen or had a meaningful conversation with in over 5 years - thinks they deserve my loyalty more than an ex/current partner, then they are very much mistaken. Clearly this incident led to some Day Residue with regard to PS

Waking Reactions: 
I think I have made it clear how terrifying, frustrating and negative this experience was for me. I wish I could have transformed it into a much more enjoyable lucid dream, but it was just not possible. As I have stated, this entire experience felt like my subconscious mind was trolling me. As for the 'normal' non-lucid element of this dream experience - usually a dream scene of this nature would be upsetting for me, as it relates to a real life experience which I have mixed, unresolved emotions over. However, as it happened after the multiple false awakenings, by contrast it did not seem to be as bad as it might otherwise have been - and in fact was a welcome change from being stuck in a false awakening with a nightmarish entity which was threatening my safety and sanity.



Dream 850

'Things Under the Bed'
Date: 9 July 2017
Time: Time Unknown
Type of dream: Normal dream
Dream recall: Normal recall 

Scene 1: A Family Home - Time Unknown
I was in a family home, which I did not recognise from real life. At first, I do not think I was aware of whose house I was in. I was in the lounge, which appeared to be a normal room. I was sitting on a bed sofa, which was against a wall, adjacent to the door leading into the room. This is the only part of the room I can recall at this stage in the dream. I was sitting on the sofa, rolling a joint from some cannabis I had with me. I then started smoking the cannabis.

NN - a childhood friend - entered the room via the door next to me. I then became aware that this was her home. I tried to hide the joint I had been smoking, using only my hand/arm to conceal it, but the smoke was very obvious and I knew that I had not hidden it at all. NN was annoyed at me for smoking cannabis in her home, especially as she has 2 young children. She argued with me and seemed to ask me to leave, although I am not sure if she told me to go, or whether I got annoyed at her and told her I was leaving of my own accord. She told me to leave my cannabis behind, but I refused saying that if I was leaving, I was entitled to take it with me. 

The sofa I had been sitting on was then a bed. I could see that underneath the bed were a number of laundry bags and suitcases filled with my clothes and belongings. I was kneeling on the floor looking under the bed when I noticed this. I told NN that I needed to collect my clothes and belongings from under the bed. Realising how many of my possessions were stored in this room made me aware that this was my house. I still decided I should collect my possessions and leave though, as now NN lived here and I had moved away. 

I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Extra Information: 
None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • Cannabis

Dreamsigns: 

  • I was smoking cannabis in someone else's house without permission - and was unaware who lived in this house
  • The sofa turned into a bed
  • My belongings under the bed made me realise this was my house

Day Residue: 
  • I saw NN post frequently on Facebook around the time of this dream
  • I had been discussing my living arrangements next year and was considering whether to move in with a friend. In this conversation, I mentioned how much I hate moving and how there are a number of possessions in my current home which have been left behind by former residents of this property

Waking Reactions: 
There is not much to say about this dream - it was quite a normal dream and not particularly enjoyable or interesting.

Dream 849

'You Can't Sit Next to John'
Date: 8 July 2017
Time: 23:30 - 07:15 (I woke up from this dream naturally)
Type of dream: Vivid dream
Dream recall: Strong recall 

Scene 1: Classroom - Time Unknown
I entered a classroom, which was full of students, sitting on either side of very long tables, arranged in straight rows. Almost every single seat was taken by a student, but I could see that there was one table which was unoccupied. The teacher was a white female. This is all I remember about her. I do not know what kind of class this was. I was aware that I, MB (a Facebook friend who I do not know in real life) and a blonde female were late for the class and had all arrived at the same time. I saw that there was one seat next to a white male student on the table which was full of other students. The teacher then said: 'You can't sit next to John'. Therefore, MB, the blonde and I sat on the empty table. We were a 'group' working together on whatever the assignment the class had been set by the teacher. The assignment was 'sex' although it was not sex education. At some point I stretched my legs over MB's lap and he was stroking my bare shin, but it was not sexual, it was part of the group activity we were engaged in. 

Scene 2: My Former Childhood Home at Pine Grove. Sheringham - Time Unknown
I was then in my former childhood home in Pine Grove, in my old bedroom.I was walking on the wooden floorboards in my bare feet. I cannot explain the next part of the dream adequately, as it was a classic 'dreamsign' sequence. I was 'aware' that I had 'fallen out' with my cousin HM. In order to restore our relationship, I told her to 'dance on my feet' - picture a small child standing on an adult's feet and holding each of the adult's hands, while the adult 'dances'. I did not see my cousin HM (who is 3 years younger than me) - she was represented in the dream by symbols on the top of my feet, which I perceived to be her - in person. Me dancing, with her 'dancing on my feet' helped us to make up. 

Scene 3: Unknown Location - Time Unknown
I reconvened with my class from Scene 1 - now, instead of MB, there was SNH and in the dream, I was happy to be able to do the 'group sex work' with him, as I fancied him. 

Extra Information: 
None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 


Dreamsigns: 
  • I was in a class with MB - and the work was related to 'sex'
  • The entire Scene 2 was a classic dreamsign

Day Residue: 
  • I saw MB post online and shortly before this dream we were in a jokey conversation about ejaculation/sex in a Facebook comments thread

Waking Reactions: 
This was a really strange dream, in particular Scene 2, because it was very symbolic as opposed to being an event i can describe literally. I also fond it strange that both dreams I have had involving SNH involve me being barefoot!

Dream 848

'Bad Weed Deal'
Date:  4 July 2017
Time: 22:30 - 05:00 (I woke up from this dream naturally)
Type of dream: Vivid dream
Dream recall: Strong recall 

Scene 1: Location Unknown - Time Unknown
I was buying some cannabis from a real life friend of mine, RD. I bought £80 worth, which is 8g, so just over a quarter ounce. This cannabis was in 2 separate baggies and looked fine. I went to a location (the location prior to this was unrecalled or unknown), which had a large desk. I unwrapped the cannabis and laid it out on the desk. I was annoyed to find that the cannabis was 'wrapped' around mud and stones - therefore the weight of the actual cannabis was far less than 8g - the weight was made up from the mud and stones. I decided that I must try and get back my money from RD, as he had conned me. 

I spoke to someone, who was either a banker or finance person, and we were looking at an online payment system, which I had used to pay RD for the cannabis. This dream character was male and I do not know anything else about him, other than he was helping me to trace/stop the money transfer to RD. We seemed to be looking at some form of online banking, as the information on the screen, were my 'transactions'. All of a sudden a blue square appeared on the screen, which was a confirmation that my £80 had transferred to RD, automatically. I was angry, but the  banker dream character told me that he could reverse it, and he did something with the website to reverse the money transfer, confirming that my £80 had been refunded.

Scene 2: The Two Lifeboats Hotel, Sheringham - Evening
I found myself in the Two Lifeboats Hotel, which is the establishment my Mum used to manage many years ago. It is a sea-front pub/hotel which is frequented by tourists in the holiday seasons. I was in the 'Augusta Bar' which has seaviews. From this bar, you can not only see the promenade, beaches and sea, but you can look to the left and see a row of holiday homes. I used to live in one of these buildings when I was a child. I have attached photographs which show the locations I am referring to, although the interior of the pub may be very different to how I recall it as it is now owned by other people and has undergone refurbishment. My Mum was working in the pub in this dream -  I saw her in front of me, at the other end of the room, talking to customers, while holding a big serving platter.

The bar looked as I expected it to, from my memories. It was completely crowded by customers, many of whom were older men. I was looking out of one of the bay windows, directly down on one of the holiday homes. There was sign outside the house, saying that it had been purchased by someone - it wasn't an estate agent's sign - it was more of a 'welcome' sign that someone might use to decorate the outside of their house. It was handpainted and yellow - with something which looked like an image of a crab or lobster on it. It would be impossible for me to really look out of this bay window 'down' onto the front area of any of the holiday homes, as the window and these properties are all on the same level, as can be seen from the images I have included in this post.

I was told by one of the older male customers that RD and his family had purchased the property. When I say 'RD's family' I mean him and his parents, as opposed to him, his partner and his own children. I was telling the customers in the pub that I wanted to go round to the house to have a word with RD and tell him how unhappy I was that he had tried to con me with the cannabis deal. The customers were supportive of me, and some of them were expressing annoyance with RD and his father for various (unrecalled) reasons, which made me think they were very unpopular. I knew it was evening as the sky was darkening, as it does at dusk. I had a calm feeling, looking out at the promenade and down at the picturesque holiday homes (which in the dream were flint cottages), despite being annoyed. I guess my annoyance abated by the fact my money had been returned, but I still felt disappointed that my friend had tried to take my money dishonestly. 

I then got a mental image - like a picture in my entire field of vision, as if I was watching it on a big screen. It was a simple animation of coloured lines shooting from different angles, and then intersecting in the middle. I realised, suddenly - 'this is a diagram explaining what intersectionality means'. I had been thinking about intersectionality earlier in the waking day, and wondered what it would look like in a visual format (as I have never researched precisely what it meant by the term, and simply understand as it has been articulated in popular media). I found I had understanding from how it was depicted in the dream.

I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Extra Information: 
None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • None of note

Dreamsigns: 

  • The strange banking system I was using
  • I was in the Two Lifeboats Hotel
  • RD and his family had moved into a holiday home next to the Two Lifeboats Hotel - which I could see from the bay window of the pub
  • The 'intersectionality' image

Day Residue: 
  • I had been discussing Paypal and how to stop or get a refund for a transfer of cash in the event of a fraud or misconduct - my friend's brother is in this situation currently with regard to services he paid for which were not delivered
  • On the day of this dream I had been researching Bitcoin
  • On the day of this dream I had seen a comment online which referred to feminism and intersectionality. After this dream, I researched intersectionality and found that the visual depiction in my dream was very accurate as to how the theory is depicted in diagrammatic form

Waking Reactions: 
This was a very interesting dream, as it combined a number of elements of Day Residue and also involved a dream fragment which accurately explained something which I was able to check online afterwards. This demonstrates that my subconscious 'understood' what intersectionality was and could form a corresponding visual depiction, which my conscious mind had not been able to fully grasp. 

Friday, 7 July 2017

Dreams 843 - 847

Dream 843
'Touching Hair'
Date: 24 June 2017
Time: Unknown
Type of dream: Normal Dream
Dream recall: Normal recall 

Scene 1: An Unknown Interior - Time Unknown
I was in a room which was brightly lit. I am not sure what kind of room it was, as I could just see that there was a long table or work surface in front of me, about waist-height. I was standing at this table, with some random dream characters, who I am not sure if I knew in the dream. The dream character standing next to me was a black man, in his 20s or 30s, with an Afro hairstyle. I started touching his hair, but then realised how offensive this was (I HATE when people find it appropriate to touch someone's hair unsolicited/non-consensually, as it often happens to me - it's far more offensive when the touching person is doing this to a person of colour, or because they are 'intrigued' by the texture of someone's hair). I felt guilty and wondered why I was acting against my own judgment here. The man told me it was OK, but I thought I had acted terribly and kept apologising. I add here there I have no curiosity about touching textured/natural hair and this is what was so confusing, even within the dream itself. 

Extra Information: 
None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • None of note

Dreamsigns: 
  • I was acting out of character

Day Residue: 
  • None of note

Waking Reactions: 
Nothing to add - my reactions upon waking were the same as those within the dream itself and I cannot recall anything else about this dream.

Dream 844
'Floating on Water'
Date: 26 June 2017
Time: Unknown
Type of dream: Normal Dream
Dream recall: Normal recall 

Scene 1: A Forest - Dusk
I was in a forest - walking down a path between the trees/foliage. It was dusk as the sky was darkening. I was alone. I saw a pink handbag laying on the path in front of me, with some of the contents spilled out - there was a purse and other items you might find in a handbag. I left the bag where it was, and went someone else - I cannot recall where, but it was an interior, and whilst there, I had conversations with some (unrecalled) dream characters who I knew in the dream. The conversations led me to choose to go back to the forest and find the bag again, to take it. I went back and did indeed find and take the bag. Inside the purse there was some cash - banknotes - which made me feel happy.

I then found myself on my university campus, in an area near the lake, which I often visit in real life. This area is quite secluded, as there is a path alongside it, so very few people ever wander into the wooded area. I saw a white male dream character, which shocked me, as I thought I would be alone. It didn't seem quite so dark as it had been earlier in the dream, so I could see clearly. The male looked human - i.e. he was 3-dimensional and looked like a modern young man, wearing casual clothing, but I got the impression that he might be 'a ghost' because while he looked solid, at the same time, he appeared to be translucent or too pale. I then noticed that he was floating on the water of the stream which flows from the lake, rather than being on the ground. I ran away, scared. 

Scene 2: An Interior - Time Unknown
I went to an interior - I am not sure where this was, but in the dream the location was familiar, and the dream characters there were known to me in the dream, although I cannot recall them. There was a police raid - I am not sure why the raid happened or what the police were investigating, but I was worried that I was going to be arrested for taking the handbag I had found in the forest, so I hid it before being questioned by a male police officer. I was not arrested. I cannot recall anything else about this dream. 

Extra Information: 
None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • None of note

Dreamsigns: 
  • A man was floating on water

Day Residue: 
  • I had been explaining the concept of 'theft by finding' in a conversation with DL 
  • I regularly take a walk through the secluded part of the forest. One afternoon, I was sitting in the forest by myself, when I became aware of someone behind me. It was a young(ish) black man with a carrier bag, dressed in casual clothing (a burgundy tracksuit). He had some facial hair. He was standing behind me, staring at me. He seemed alarmed when I turned and saw him, and he hurried away. I then heard footsteps/rustling and turned to see he had doubled back and was standing in the bushes, watching me - like he was curious. I turned and started directly at him, hoping he could see that I was perturbed by him watching me. He left. Again, several minutes later, he returned and was standing staring at me, from the bushes to the side of me. I said: 'Can I help you mate?' and he ran away. A few days later, I was in the same spot (by the stream) when the same man - dressed the same way, with a carrier bag in hand, was lurking behind me again. When I turned and saw him, he said: 'Hello' and I responded with the same. He again, walked off, only to sneak back and start watching me again from the bushes. I raised my eyebrows at him and stared back, and he left. I honestly do not think that this guy wants to harm me or had ill-intentions. He seems to be intrigued about seeing a woman sitting by herself in the forest. If necessary, I could run to safety or be heard screaming, so these incidents have not prevented me from doing my usual activities. I haven't seen the guy again, but I have noticed Rizla packets and beer cans in this area which were not there before
  • On the day of this dream I had been listening to an audiobook version of Stephen King's IT (1986) - which had plenty of references to 'floating' and contains a scene where Ben Hanscombe sees Pennywise, posing as his dead father, floating on water at the Derry Standpipe

Waking Reactions: 
None of note

Dream 845
'The Affair'
Date: 27 June 2017
Time: Unknown
Type of dream: Vivid Dream
Dream recall: Strong recall 

Scene 1: My Former University Accommodation, Norwich - Time Unknown
I was with a man who I had very strong romantic/sexual feelings towards - he was white, tall and slim, with shaved head and in his 30s, dressed in casual sportswear/urban clothing. We were in 'a hotel room', relaxing on a double bed, but I noticed that this was actually a room I used to live in when I was an undergraduate student in my university (the building this room was in - Waveney Terrace - has since been demolished and new buildings have replaced it). I was aware that we were in a hotel because I was visiting this man. We were getting on really well and he seemed to be enjoying my company as much as I was enjoying him. We started to have sex and I recall that we were kissing (I am not a fan of kissing in real life, and in the dream I was aware that I was 'making an exception, because I liked this man so much). There was nothing really to note about the sexual activity. It was not a 'wet dream' in that I did not experience real life arousal or orgasm from it, but it was fulfilling and more than anything else, I felt so happy to be with a man I felt so strongly for. 

The man's friends then came - about 2 or 3 males, all dressed in a similar style to him. They entered the room, which seemed to now be part of a bigger environment, with other rooms attached to it, including one which appeared to be a lounge. The friends (unknown to me in the dream), were telling my lover that he needed to go somewhere at '17' which I took to be a time (perhaps 17:00 hours?) He then told me that I should leave because he was busy and needed to attend to whatever it was his friends were telling him about. I was disappointed, but started to log onto a laptop in the lounge area, to find a bus/train to leave. There was one the next morning, but I did not want to stay that long, so I told my lover that I would call a taxi to come and collect me. He then started begging me to stay for as long as I could before he had to leave. I told him that he couldn't have it his own way - I would either stay or go, but was not able to wait around to suit his plans. He told me that I should stay and asked him friends to leave. We returned to the bed. 

I cannot recall what else happened.

Extra Information: 
None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • None of note

Dreamsigns: 
  • I was in a room in a building which has since been demolished
  • The room changed and became part of a bigger environment
  • '17' was a valid time

Day Residue: 
  • I had been discussing travel plans with a friend prior to this dream

Waking Reactions: 
This dream made me happy - as most sex dreams do. I also liked the feeling of being around someone I had strong feelings for, as in real life I am single and often miss male company or the physical touch of another person.

Dream 846 - False Awakening
'Grey Crawler'
Date: 29 June 2017
Time: Unknown
Type of dream: Lucid False Awakening
Dream recall: Strong recall 

Scene 1: My Bedroom, Norwich - Night
I woke up - in my own bedroom, in my bed, as normal. It was dark as I would expect. At first, I assumed I was really awake, but something drew my attention to my desk, which is to the right side of my bed, across the room. On the desk, there was a grey creature, which looked like a cat-sized centipede or other multi-legged insect-like creature. It was walking along the back of the desk against the wall and was making a rattling sound (like a rattlesnake). I was instantly aware that this was a False Awakening, although I did not appear to have any sleep paralysis. As I was lucid, I was not too scared, but I did not want to look around the room or see anything else, as I can be quite frightened even in a lucid false awakening situation, even though I know it is a dream state. I then noticed my laptop, which was on a chair next to my bed (it would be there in real life, as I put it there to watch videos while I fall asleep). The screen showed a man in a balaclava, with only his eyes and mouth showing. It was either a still image or he wasn't really moving, but this made me feel uneasy. I must have fallen back into a deeper sleep as this is the entire experience I can recall. 

Extra Information: 
None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • None of note

Dreamsigns: 
  • This was a false awakening, so I was aware I was in a dream state by noticing my dreamsigns

Day Residue: 
  • A few days before this dream I had listened to a recording of the Night Stalker which was illustrated by a photo of a man in a balaclava

Waking Reactions: 
False awakenings often terrify me - this one was not so bad, but it did make me feel very uneasy at the time, even though I was aware of what was happening. I chose not to try and transform this into a full lucid dream (by getting out of bed and walking around or trying to change the dream scene), as I just wanted the experience to end as quickly as possible.

Dream 847
'I Can't Explain How I Know'
Date: 2 July 2017
Time: Unknown
Type of dream: Vivid Dream
Dream recall: Strong recall 

Scene 1: A Classroom - Day
I was in a classroom which was filled with dream characters - all of whom were female as far as I can recall. The teacher was also female. I knew many of the dream characters - either in the dream or from real life. One of them was JS, a Facebook friend. I am not sure what course we were on, but it seemed to be something to do with the military. I was summonsed to the front of the class to answer a problem - not a maths problem as such, but it was something which required a calculation (in real life, I have dyscalculia and find simple mathematics extremely problematic). I went to the front of the class and found myself standing beside the teacher, in front of a large chalk board. I was gesturing wildly with my hands, while I gave the answer to the 'problem' posed by the teacher. When asked to 'explain my calculations' I said: 'I know the answer, but I can't explain how I know'. I was sure that my answer was correct, even though I did not know how I had arrived at it - and it appeared that this was the case. 

Something happened in the classroom to make 3 of us rebel against the teacher - myself, JS and another female dream character, who I think is someone who I know in real life, but cannot recall. We mounted an aircraft which belonged to the RAF - but instead of being a plane, it was more like a hand glider, with a big metal frame which we could sit astride.This was inside the classroom and we were not supposed to be using it. We were referring to it as 'a tank' and were planning to use it to 'joyride'.

I cannot recall anything else about this dream. 

Extra Information: 
None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • None of note

Dreamsigns: 
  • I was in a class with JS
  • The RAF hand glider/tank object

Day Residue: 

Waking Reactions: 
This was a really unusual dream, which was very vivid when I first woke up from it, although specific memories have faded between me experiencing it/writing contemporaneous notes and now writing it up as a dream report.

Saturday, 24 June 2017

Dream 842

'Housebreaking in NYC'
Date: 22 June 2017
Time: 05:30 - 11:45 (I woke up from this dream naturally)
Type of dream: Vivid dream
Dream recall: Strong recall 

Scene 1: New York City, USA - Day
I was looking at an image of New York - an aerial shot of the city, which was fairly normal and how I would expect it to look in real life. I thought the image was a photograph, but then it 'zoomed in' and I realised I was travelling to New York. When I was 'at ground level' (I did not experience the sensation of travelling downwards, it was as if the scene in a movie changed and one minute it was zooming into the city and in the next moment, I was standing looking at the scene in front of me) I saw that I was in an area which looked very rural or suburban at least. I was walking down a dirt track which had forest on either side of me. It was daylight and the sun was shining. This area felt very idyllic and pleasant to me. I knew I was '5 minutes walk' from the main NYC city area (i.e. Manhattan etc) - this turning into the forest area, was just outside the urban part of NYC, which even in the dream I found to be odd. I walked down the path and found that it led to a single large family home - normal looking, made of brick, 2-storey - but one I would expect in suburban UK rather than in NYC. There was a sign on a jagged piece of grey slate (on the side of the dirt path), pointing to the house - this was the house sign. The house was detached and the only one I could see in this area. I walked up to the house and entered it, I think through the front entrance, which I cannot recall. I also do not know how I got into the house - i.e. whether the door was open; whether I had a key or whether I broke in.

The house was empty - no-one was home. I only saw one room, which was the kitchen. I recall this room very clearly. It was very old-fashioned, but in a contemporary way, as if this was a deliberate design - this is how I perceived it in the dream. The room was large, with a wooden kitchen table. It was light, airy and spacious. The floor was bare concrete and the walls were bare brick. There was only furniture around the edges of the room - the kitchen appliances looked like they came from the 1970s or 1980s and were basic and cream in colour. The room was untidy and lived in - there was a plastic laundry basket of dirty clothing on one of the counters and various items associated with a kitchen/dining area left laying around. There was an artist's easel in front of the kitchen sink which looked like an industrial sink made of stainless steel. I saw a baby's highchair and items indicating children lived in this house. Just off the kitchen was a corridor which had a bright royal blue carpet. This led to the entrance of the house, although I cannot recall walking down the corridor or being in any other part of the house than the kitchen. Opposite this door, in the kitchen, was a large window and patio door, through which I could see not only the garden, but beyond this, the skyscrapers of NYC. 

I really loved this house and the location.

Scene 2: An Unknown Interior - Day
I then found myself back in the UK, although I am not sure where I was. I wanted to go back to the house in New York, so I did - immediately - I did not seem to have to travel, I just wished myself back there. 

Scene 3: New York City - Day
I found myself back on the dirt track leading up to the house. I walked up there until I reached the slate sign pointing to the house. This scene was basically a repetition of that at the start of Scene 1. I entered the house again - and cannot recall seeing any other part of the house, other than the kitchen where I found myself again. The kitchen looked identical to how it had when I was there last time. I was aware that the family who lived there would soon be returning. I was uninvited and did not want to alarm the homeowners, as my intentions for being there were not malicious or criminal - I just loved being in New York and loved the house. I heard someone return - via the main entrance of the house. I moved so that I was in plain sight - I was standing in the kitchen in front of the door leading to the hallway, which meant I was in full view of the person entering via the front door. I saw female dream character - aged between 30 and 40 - white and slim with shoulder-length straight blonde hair. She was wearing a jumper and jeans and was carrying shopping bags. I decided that I should announce my presence before I was discovered, so I could warn the homeowners that I was in the house, so I shouted out: 'Hi! Don't worry!' I could see that there were some bookshelves in the hallway. When she saw me, the female dream character started to scream in shock and terror and dropped the shopping bags onto the floor at her feet. A male - same approximate age and white, with brown hair and some facial hair - emerged from another room off the hallway, to see what his wife was screaming about. I said: 'I'm not a criminal, I'm a friend!' 

I was joined in the kitchen by the family - it seemed that they had immediately recovered from the shock of me being in their house uninvited and were happy for me to be there. They were welcoming. They were all American, but spoke with English accents, which I thought was odd, even within the dream. The husband was an architect and the wife was an interior designer - they were both very modern and fashionable - what I would describe as 'hipster'. They had a baby and another young child (about 3 years old and blonde - not sure of the gender), who were being looked after by their grandmother (the mother of the woman), who took them out into the garden to play. 

I sat and talked to the husband and wife, telling them how much I admired their unusual home. They told me they were planning to expand the family by having more children. We were talking about normal, everyday things and everything felt friendly and natural. 

The woman started showing me some of the materials she was planning to use for an interior design job she was doing. The 'paint' she was using were actually a number of eyeshadow palettes, with neutral toned makeup in them. I noticed that in one palette, which was made up of dull brown, grey and black shades, there was a beautiful, glittery gold colour. I told the woman how much I loved this colour and she agreed with me that it was 'unusual'. I swatched the colour onto my hand, thinking how pretty it looked.

I cannot recall much else about the action in this dream, other than the conversation with the husband and wife continued and I felt very at home with them, and constantly admired the way they had decorated their kitchen so that it appeared to be 'shabby chic' and almost unfinished. I was also constantly in wonder that this forest area was a 5 minute walk from New York city. The woman told me that both she and her husband worked in skyscrapers in the centre of Manhattan and that they could reach their work in just a short walk. At some point, she was feeding the baby in the high chair while we sat at the kitchen table - the man was sketching a building plan, using the easel. 

We talked about 'the beach' and I knew they meant the coastline of NYC, but in the dream I had forgotten that NYC is an island (I only recalled this when I woke up and then remembered that I had been to the Hudson River shoreline when in New York and visited one of the piers). I saw an image (I guess in my own mind, rather than being there in person, although I am not sure) of a coastal area, but it looked more like a UK coastline than one associated with NYC. I wondered if I was confused and was really looking at Lowestoft in Suffolk (which also has docks). I cannot recall much about this aspect of the dream, other than the confusion and questioning if this was a local beach or still New York.

Extra Information: 
None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • None of note

Dreamsigns: 

  • NYC was different - it had a forest-like area just outside the city
  • The action in the dream repeated
  • I could travel between the UK and NYC in the blink of an eye
  • I broke into someone's house, then became friends with the family
  • Eyeshadow palettes were 'paint' to be used in interior design

Day Residue: 
  • I vaguely remember looking at an image of an aerial shot of NYC just prior to this dream (recent)

Waking Reactions: 
I actually loved this dream - I enjoyed the location and felt very content. I would love to go back and visit the NYC of my dreams (I have visited NYC in real life and loved the experience) - I know I have had previous dreams about NYC in which it is depicted very differently (more provincially and more reminiscent of the UK suburbs) from how I would expect in real life and these dreams intrigue me.

I have tried to find some images to illustrate this dream. Obviously, I have not been able to find anything which reflects what I saw in the dream accurately, but the images below give some very vague idea. A little research has shown me that there are many areas of New York state (and NYC itself) which do look similar to that seen in my dream - albeit not quite as close to the centre of Manhattan as in my dream.

Dream 842

'Turkey & Chicken'
Date: 22 June 2017
Time: 20:30 - 03:50 (I woke up from this dream naturally)
Type of dream: Normal dream
Dream recall: Normal recall 

Scene 1: My Nan's House, Sheringham - Day
I was in my Nan's house in Sheringham, sitting on the sofa. A male friend - it may have been DL (although I recall a former friend EB being present, so it may have been him) was sitting in front of me on the floor. My Nan served us both a plate of roast dinner. My friend's plate was piled high with food, while my own was half empty, with all the food pushed to one side of the plate. At first, I thought I had no potatoes on my plate, unlike my friend, and given this is my favourite part of a roast dinner, this annoyed me. I then looked again and realised I had 2 small roast potatoes. This annoyed me, as my friend had more and I wanted a large amount myself - mine was barely enough to feed a small child. There seemed to be no vegetables on the plate other than the 2 small roast potatoes. I wondered if the meat was turkey or chicken. I was disappointed to reach the conclusion that it was turkey (I hate turkey), but when I looked again, I saw I had both turkey and chicken on the plate. The chicken looked normal, but very white, while the turkey looked grainy in texture, square in shape and grey in colour. The meats were sitting in gravy. I wondered where my yorkshire puddings were, as my friend had a pile of them on his plate. I asked my Nan and she said: 'You don't like yorkshire puddings'. I argued with her about this and was very unhappy with my dinner. 

Scene 2: My House, Norwich - Time Unknown
I was in my own flat in Norwich, in the kitchen, standing beside the counter where the kettle is. I looked at the shelf where we keep the condiments and spices, and saw that a large mirror was installed there. The mirror reflected the bathroom (this would be impossible, given there is an interior door separating the lounge/kitchen from the section of the flat where the bathroom and bedrooms are, and even with the interior door wedged open, you could not have seen inside the bathroom due to the angle. In the reflection of the mirror, showing the bathroom, I could see my flatmate SC taking a shower (standing in the bath) with the shower curtain open. He was obviously naked and I felt embarrassed to see him, but wondered why he had left the bathroom door open, knowing I was home. I quickly looked away, hoping that he did not know that I had seen him, but when I looked up at the mirror again, I realised that SC was staring at me, making eye contact in the reflection of the mirror. This made me feel uncomfortable and awkward and SC looked like he felt the same way. 

Extra Information: 
None of note

Recurrent Dream Themes: 

  • Education

Dreamsigns: 

  • The food on my plate kept changing every time I looked at it - and the turkey looked strange
  • The mirror installed in the kitchen of my house, which reflected the interior of the bathroom
  • The behaviour of SC

Day Residue: 
  • I cooked chicken for DL (2 days before)
  • We had the glass inset to one of our interior doors replaced after SC accidentally broke the glass by letting the door slam shut in the wind

Waking Reactions: 
There is not much to say about this dream - it was not a positive dream, and I was annoyed in Scene 1 and embarrassed in Scene 2